Remember the woman who months ago gave birth to a premie baby? He is now a healthy 6 month old baby! Remember me sharing that this baby was born out of an adulterous relationship? The prospects were dim. Fear that her other children would be taken away was real. Shame was evident. Insecurity of her future was looming. Hope was nowhere in her sight. Hunger was a daily source of concern (I was providing her meals for weeks along with another worker because her family shunned her). Well, I want to share with you today that God did not give up on this woman or her family. He has continued to show himself faithful to her. Not only is she regularly employed as a language helper for two adults in town (me being one), which has provided for her daily needs of feeding her children, but her husband finally returned. I had the opportunity to confront her about her sin and the need for her to take responsibility, act humbly, and ask for forgiveness. When all the respected family elders around her were encouraging her to say nothing, she chose to ask her husband’s forgiveness after three days of me talking to her. I shared the story of the woman caught in adultery, assured her that she can be forgiven of her sins, but that Jesus commands us to sin no more. God provided an opportunity for a local believer from her people group to pray with her and then challenge her when passing her on the road after my conversation with her. In the end, her husband forgave her and chose to keep her as his wife. Is the story over? No. Is everything easy now? No. But we are seeing small steps towards reconciliation – not just in the earthly marriage relationship of this couple but also in my friend’s spiritual life. Continue to pray for her to be humble, for God to open her eyes to all that He is, and for her husband to have an opportunity to hear the gospel and choose to follow Jesus. Praise God with me for the ways He has made himself evident in a situation that at one time appeared to be completely hopeless!
Author: kimberly Page 6 of 8
My house helper comes to our house 6 days a week to cook, run to the market, clean dishes, basically be of help however is necessary that morning. She called me at 5:45am last week to tell me that her former husband, the father of her 5 children, and also the man who she was considering remarrying, had died suddenly. M. was in the hospital awaiting surgery to amputate some toes because of his diabetes. He passed away when the put him under, before they ever performed the operation. Life can feel so cheap here. He was likely in no physical condition to undergo the operation, yet it was still a shock that he died.
This death has had numerous implications for our family. Josh got to visit the man at the hospital days before he passed away. I am thankful he was able to share his care and concern for the family in this way. His death means that I have been without a house helper which is a big deal here with so many tasks to complete in a day, but it has been a week of God showing me his grace and provision as well as breaking my heart for the hopelessness of the people here.
First, counting my blessings:
- We just welcomed our new teammate who came to help with our children. Josh is in Thailand for a conference and I could not have invested the time necessary showing love and concern to my house helper if it wasn’t for God’s perfect timing in sending Danielle here. The kids love her, I trust her, she has a heart to serve, and I have been free to go and weep with my house helper, visit with her other friends and family, and peel loads of garlic to add to sauces that feed all the visitors.
- My second helper who comes a few days a week just to wash laundry has stepped right in without missing a beat to take over some of the household responsibilities while I have to be away and my original house helper is unavailable. What a blessing to have someone who had the time and willingness to help me out in a time of need!
- I have had many added responsibilities, but God is sustaining my health and helping me to accomplish each task throughout the day with (mostly!) joy and thankfulness.
Now a reflection on what the actual funeral and mourning process has helped me to be aware of: the amount of people in and out of my house helper’s compound this past week has been astonishing! The vast majority come to stay just a few minutes, offer condolences (“May God give you patience.”) and say some prayers on behalf of the deceased, hoping this may tip the scale in his favor so Allah will allow him into paradise. The problem is, it seems so fabricated. The majority of the people who come seem to be doing it out of necessity. Their words are not filled with any sense of emotion or even a sense that they believe what they are saying to the grieving. Even the prayers they offer up in to bless the deceased man seem hopeless and emotionless, like they know what they are doing is futile but they do it because it’s what is required and expected. Because they want people to do it for them when they die. Maybe it will be enough to get them to Paradise.
Pray for these people who have yet to hear that there is a better Way. There is a sure Way to peace with God both in the present and for all eternity. Pray for many hearts to be sensitive during this time of mourning, longing for something much more fulfilling and life changing than Islam can ever offer them. Pray for God to prepare the soil of my house helper and her family to receive the Word with gladness, that it would take root in their lives and produce much fruit. They are a very religious family but have been around believers and Westerners a lot so they are aware of at least the basics of the gospel and Christianity.
What Bible stories or verses come to mind when an Arab nomad friend shares with you that just outside of town, his family has had a feud with not-so distant relatives that involved knives and guns and resulted in 4 deaths, including one child? Many women were injured, some cousins are in the hospital recovering from operations. Reconciliation attempts were made by offering camels in return for the lives of men, but even those attempts towards reconciliation are viewed as a statement that they are enemies and no longer family. What words of hope and peace do you offer someone who has only been taught retaliation? What will it take to change the hearts, not just of individuals, but of entire clans who at their core are proud, judgmental, and many times unforgiving because their god is the same way? These are the questions I’ve been asking myself today.
Today is my first Mother’s Day in Africa; it has been a day of much reflection and thanksgiving. It has been a very different day of celebrating than my past Mother’s Days. For one we don’t have a church that we attend, so no one asked me to join other mothers in standing for a moment of recognition. But, that is ok. I spent the entire day with my boys and was thrilled to be on the floor playing Legos, reading books, eating meals with them, singing songs, etc. Really, just the normal things we do every day together. I didn’t get a bouquet of flowers (although Josh arrived home from the capital this afternoon with a few Snickers bars that have my name on them!!) and I had to make all of my own meals…from scratch. But that’s ok. This Mother’s Day has been a very normal day in many ways, but I had the opportunity to slow down, be purposeful in each moment, and ask myself what things I have learned as a mom in the past 6 months since moving to Chad:
- God never fails me, never leaves me, and always supplies the words, wisdom, energy, and strength I need – even on the hardest (and hottest!) days.
- My husband is amazing in the way that he unselfishly serves me, helps make life as a wife and mother here as easy as possible, and provides for and protects me and our boys.
- Kids need stability and consistency and they especially need quality time with mom and dad. I am learning to look my kids in the eye when they talk, and really listen to what they have to say. I want them to know they are heard and important – even more so in a new environment where they often can’t communicate with others.
- My kids need traditions, things to look forward to – things that are always the same, day after day and year after year. For us, this means: our family Thanksgiving journal during November, Jesse Tree at Christmas, Lenten Tree at Easter, pancakes with sprinkles on birthdays, morning devotions, bedtime stories and prayers. Making a big deal about holidays is now solely my responsibility – if Josh and I don’t do something to signify a holiday, my children would return to America and never knew the day existed (like Valentine’s Day, Fourth of July, etc.).
- Nothing I do (not even missions) is more important than the time I invest in my kids. In many ways, I am a stay-at-home mom just like I would be in America. My house-work looks very different here, but my job is the same. I do want to learn language and have some ministry outlets here (just like I would in the States), but my first job is making sure my children learn to love the Lord and know that mom and dad love them too.
- Helping my kids maintain relationships with family back home requires being purposeful, but is so worth it. I am thankful for Skype to be able to have real face to face conversations (and singing/dancing sessions with grandparents and cousins!).
In many ways, mothering in a new country is very similar to mothering in America. In other ways, things are much different for me. I am grateful for how God is growing me and stretching me in motherhood in ways I wouldn’t pay much attention to in the States! Happy Mother’s Day!!
A new worker in town, me, and one of our friends at the wedding.
I had the privilege of attending my first wedding a few days ago. Remember the baby who was born prematurely? His mother’s sister is in the process of getting married. Yes, you read correctly. The wedding I attended was part 1 of 2. Part 1 is called a “fatee” – this is where male representatives of the bride and groom’s families meet together, formally agree to the marriage of their son and daughter, and the groom to be is expected to make a down payment towards the bride price. All of this happens relatively early in the morning and the bride and other women are in another compound, sometimes miles away. Afterwards, the men hang around, drink chai tea and juice, and play cards. Meanwhile, the bride is in a separate compound with her close friends and the other women in the family as well as close friends are in the mother of the bride’s compound cooking an elaborate meal of salad, sugar rice, goat, beets and potatoes, ground beef, etc. Around 2pm, the meal is served on a big platter and 6-8 people gather around to eat together. After this is finished, some girls from the bride’s family come very dressed up but still covered, sit together on a mat and sing songs. (I am trying to post a video but internet is slow now…).
The second stage of the marriage is still mostly a mystery to me at this point, but I do know that it is the time when the groom has raised all the required money to pay the family and the wedding is complete.
Chadian weddings are one topic of conversation, but Chadian marriages are a completely different subject. Soon, I plan to share with you the little I have heard, learned, and observed about marriages in this culture.
Isaac just turned four, and overnight he has started asking the “why” questions – many of which I don’t know the answer to. He is thinking deeply about the things he is learning from the Bible and asking questions over and over. Last week, he got very serious about the fact that our friends are praying to a false god and decided to do something about it. He stood at the outdoor restaurant close to our house with Josh and said, “God!” (In English.) No one heard him, so he said it a few more times. Still getting no response, he continued in English, explaining to the owner that he did not need to pray to the false god anymore because Jesus died on the cross for his sins. While we know we must speak the language of the people and share the gospel in a way that they will hear and prayerfully receive, we can’t help but be challenged by Isaac’s desire to share Jesus with those around us. (For now, we are glad he doesn’t speak a whole lot of Arabic, because the conversations could get a lot more interesting!! Although, he does say that he has to do “Arabic lessons” every day with his stuffed animals.)
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10
In ministry and life, it is easy to muddy our motives. Even the best “works” for the Lord that we do are often tainted with the sin of pride or the desire to please others. This is no less true for the missionary on a foreign field. We give up a lot: family, friends, church, comforts, health, and many things that are familiar. In return, the majority of people back home who support our ministry can put us on a higher pedestal than is deserved. Many forget that we are normal people, struggling with normal sins and problems and temptations that every Christian struggles with. The only difference is we are doing it in a strange culture. Many times the sins and struggles become even more magnified: there is no cushion for hiding our sin problems when we are stripped of all that is familiar.
This verse in Galatians 1 has convicted me recently. At times when I have hard days and complain in my heart about the heat, the work load, the lack of conveniences, the lack of fellowship and deep friendship because of our chosen lifestyle, I am forgetting who I am living for. If my eyes and heart are focused consistently on the Lord, aiming to please Him, I am counted worthy to serving Him and am able to do so joyfully. When I look at my own problems or at my lack of worldly wants and needs, or even at the encouragement we receive from supporters, but forget Who it is I am serving, I quickly lose my joy and desire to serve. According to this verse, I also don’t deserve the privilege of being a servant of Christ. He has promised that following Him means losing much in the present life and gaining much in the life to come. How can I be His servant if my eyes remain on the things of this world? I am not worthy.
As one woman wrote me in a letter a few months ago, “You may be normal people with normal problems but at least you are serving.” This encouraged my heart. It is true for each of us who follows Jesus, no matter which country we are in. We are all normal people with normal sins and normal problems. There are two questions that must be answered. The first is: “Is Jesus enough? Is He worth it?” Is Jesus worth giving up, each day, my desires, my comforts, even those things I think are necessary to my well-being? The next question is, “Are we serving the Lord alone, or still seeking the approval of man?” Am I serving with a pure heart even when no one knows? Am I working wholeheartedly and with joy when no one says thank you? May it always be said of you and me that despite all, we are serving the Lord. He is enough for us.
I write this from my heart partly in attempt to encourage you to remain steadfast, keeping your eyes fixed on the prize which is Jesus, our joy. He is worth living for and dying for. I also write this as a plea for prayer. We need God’s grace daily, each moment, if we are going to thrive in life and ministry for the long term. If I am not seeking the approval of God alone in a place of ministry like Chad, then why am I here?! Your prayers and encouragement to us are important as God continues to sanctify us and prayerfully use us in this place, and we are grateful for you.
Home made granola!
We are always thankful for the most noticeable blessing of the sun: it gives light and heat. Since moving to Chad, and especially since moving to our new house 10 days ago, we have many other reasons to be grateful for the sun:
- I can cook my yogurt in the sun and make goodies like granola and banana bread in my solar oven.
- The sun heats up the water that we use to shower with and wash our hands.
- The sun also makes it possible for me to have consistent refrigeration and even a freezer that never has to be turned off. This makes my life so much easier, because for the past four months, I haven’t been able to store food very well for my family – we had a generator to run several hours each morning and three hours in the evening. As hot season is approaching, things like yogurt, leftovers, and milk were turning bad quickly.
- In the very near future (read: as soon as Josh has time), we will also be thankful that the sun’s energy gives us constant lighting and even fans to keep us cool. For now, we use a generator during the hot part of the day and for a couple hours in the evening and it is not too bad, but we will be happy to be able to turn on lights and fans whenever we want.
What an amazing part of creation God chose to make!
We started language lessons this week, and we are very excited. Our language tutor has helped other westerners learn Chadian Arabic, so he knows what he is doing. He is very knowledgeable of his language. He comes from a family of Arab nomads who travel with their camels throughout Chad. Not only are we sure to learn much about the Arabic language from him, but also the interesting culture of nomads which is almost incomprehensible to us! Pray for our interaction with N, who is a Muslim but has been exposed to the teachings of Scripture to some degree through the English classes he attends and his relationships with other workers who have passed through our town to learn Arabic. We look forward to sharing more about what God will do through this relationship.
Mommy and Isaac riding a camel!
I am a little late at sharing this story, but it is too good not to share with you! Isaac and I had the opportunity to ride a camel after Christmas. We went with a group of short term workers here at the orphanage, and it felt very touristic. If you want to come visit us in Chad, we now can possibly offer you a camel ride (sounds adventurous and exotic, huh?!) and even a climb up one of the mountains outside of town at sunset (romantic, maybe??). Anyways, Judah and Josh walked next to us as our camel took us through the desert. The ride lasted about 30-45 minutes and was comparable to a horse ride, just higher. Oh, and our camel liked to stop and reach up in the tree branches above to get a snack here and there. We had to hold on tight, but really the actual ride was quite relaxing and would have put Isaac to sleep if we had continued much longer. We had a bought of excitement in our group as another camel who was a bit angry threw off a boy and his father. They were ok, and even got back on another camel. The camel herders (I don’t know what they are called) calmed the angry camel and got him to kneel down to the ground, but 10 minutes later we saw him running fast through the desert! It began to feel like a scene from an old western movie when a man on horseback chased the camel down at full speed right in front of us! That was surely an experience we won’t soon forget!